I read this article today that I found still resonates to this day. One part in particular that I continue to dance with is this:
Grief crowds the heart, eats up all your energy and chronically imposes upon your peace. But grief isn’t some evil force that’s only there to cause pain, grief is escorting up an even deeper feeling, a truth about your life, what you value and what you need. Perhaps how much you wanted something, how deeply you care about someone, how far you’ve come from where you were.
I like that the article addressed the nuanced differences among grief, depression and depression. They’re often used interchangeably and I think it’s important that we unpack them, examine them, and be clear about how we define things.
The idea of cycling through the same path…swallowing grief, numbing to it, until it bubbles up, over and over again. Our society is so keen to have us “let go” that it’s almost impossible to simply sit with our own grief, to experience it completely and thoroughly. We must “move on,” “get on with our lives.”
I find that the people who act most concerned or worried about someone who is in deep grief are, in fact, more concerned with their own discomfort. They simply can’t be near the raw emotion. Too many people simply want to skim across the surface, going through the basic rituals and move on.
I have always subscribed to the idea that you should allow yourself to feel your emotions completely, without reservation. But society’s pressures to “keep it together” and to get back to worldly functioning can impede the ability of one to move through the pain completely. But like it or not, grief demands your attention.
I have started on a journey of inquiry, not entirely sure where it will lead. As the author says,
There (and only there) you will find the door to the unpredictable pieces of life that are patiently waiting for you on the other side of your pain.