It’s a week since we returned from our two weeks in southern Italy. I feel revitalized, refreshed.The trip was a little bittersweet—an anniversary celebration delayed from May 2012, when we postponed it due to mom’s failing health. I know in my heart my mom would be thrilled that we were going, finally. She was so […]
I used to give my mom grief for being a bit of a pack rat. Partially it was her upbringing…living in near poverty taught her to scrape together everything. If you need it someday, you won’t have to spend money buying it again. As I go through the things in the house (yes, still) I
I passed a birthday recently, the first without mom. No card. No call. No email from her. Just a deafening silence. I received some thoughtful wishes from friends (and mother-in-law) who acknowledged the poignancy of the day for me. Others offered a quick, breezy and cursory greeting via social media. As with most birthdays, I
Came across this today when a friend posted on Facebook. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBGaloOxNkU
An unexpected moment Read More »
There is an article in today’s The Wall Street Journal (subscription required, I think) that discusses the “identity crisis process” after loss. The article focuses on divorce or a job loss. The article is clear that the death of a loved one is a more complicated and lengthy process. But there are some things that are
When I think of the kind of wine country retreat I would like, I do not immediately revert to the faux-Tuscan villa. There are many garish examples of that up and down the Valley. My vision is based on practicalities—easy to maintain, not so high-end that I’m always worried about things. I want it to
Mixing vintage and modern Read More »
It’s a fallacy, this notion of “closure.” You often hear about it, particularly on television news…the worn faces of grieved parents searching for missing children…”we just need closure.” But there is no closure, even when you long anticipate the loss of a loved one. What happens is that the grief burrows in deeper, like a
There is a phenomenon among amputees called “phantom limb,” in which the person still feels the missing limb is attached to the body and moving. Typically the sensation is a painful one, according to Wikipedia. That pretty much describes where I am these days, except it’s “phantom mom.” It’s the frequent split-second thought, reaction, or
Growing up, I hated Fathers’ Day. My father was diagnosed with stomach cancer when I was two months old, and he died when I was three. I felt it really did not pertain to me. The whole American take on it—BBQ, scotch, golf—was utterly irrelevant. In elementary school, there was an annual Father-Daughter dinner that
Reflections on Fathers’ Day Read More »
We had a memorial gathering last Saturday with some close friends and family. My mom’s gravestone was in place and I took that opportunity to gather at the cemetery and spend some time reflecting on my mother’s triumphs and celebrating her life. She was the perfect example of a person who never stopped learning. As
Memorials and Milestones Read More »